Before I post this blog entry I need to let you know why I began writing this one in the first place. This was supposed to be an about me essay for my student teaching supervisor who will evaluate me in the classroom. He wanted a two page essay all about me and he said the more detail the better so he understands the type of person he is dealing with and has a background of why I want to be a teacher. This is what resulted in that attempt. I feel like this is some of my best writing I have ever done and cannot believe how I saw God just take over my keyboard as I went to write this! I knew I had to share it on here, so here it is! :)
My name is Kristina Calabrese, I am 25 years old, and I want to change the world. As a child, I thought to do this I had to be famous. I wanted to be a singer, an actress, and an author. I wanted a platform to get a message across; to inspire others and spread joy. I did not understand that this is what I was truly looking for until I was 20. Until that point I thought I just had a flare for the dramatic. While that is partially true, I didn’t necessarily want to be famous, I just wanted to make a difference, and my little brain thought that the only way to do this was to be famous. I was born here in Ashland, Ohio. Since then I have moved 10 times. The first time was age 3 to Bellevue, Ohio. The second time was at age 6 to Mesa, Arizona. 6 months later we moved again to Apache Junction, Arizona. When I was 8, we moved to Leonardtown, Maryland. At age 12, we moved to Fredonia, Pennsylvania for one year. After that, we landed back in Ashland until I was 18 and graduated from Ashland High School. From there, we moved to Mainville, Ohio, 2 different locations in Dearborn, Michigan, and then back to Ashland again. To really get to know me you need to know my testimony. In high school I was severally depressed. There is no logical reason for me to have been so depressed. I had, and still have, a loving family, we’re involved in church, and always had a good life no matter what came our way. Despite all of this, depression hit me hard my freshman year of high school and I became addicted to cutting. Throughout high school this continued, and I became very suicidal as well. I did not plan to graduate. It was all I could do just to get up in the morning let alone complete assignments and plan for my future. Only because of God and amazing teachers and counselors at Ashland High school did I make it to graduation. I believe I graduated with a 1.7 GPA. I planned to take my life a month later. My support system from high school was gone, I was getting ready to move again, lose my friends again, and I had no plans for the future. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, except that I did not see a point in living anymore. My mind was in such a dark place that I began to believe that God actually wanted me to take my life. Long story short, I messaged someone from our church, told them everything, and they helped me find Jesus for myself and I surrendered it all to Him. It was truly like someone flipped a light switch and I honestly believe I experienced all of that pain to strengthen my faith in The Lord. In 2013 after I was baptized I felt that I could finally attempt a higher education. I knew it had to be online because I had a feeling where we were currently located, in Dearborn Michigan, was not going to be for very long. Grand Canyon University popped out at me because purple is my favorite color but captured my attention when I discovered it was a Christian university. I planned on becoming a high school English teacher. I wanted to be there for others like my teachers were there for me. I obtained a 4.0 GPA from 2013-2016 in secondary education, but then woke up one morning convinced I had to switch to early childhood and had no idea why. Once I switched, everything began to fall into place. I got a job in a preschool, which counted towards practicum hours, and it turned out that week was my only chance to switch majors, as it was the ending of my current academic year, which I did not realize. Since then I have worked in 3 different preschools in town, the Kroc Center summer camp for 2 summers, the Kroc Center after school program, and volunteered in a 3rd grade classroom for a few months before student teaching began. I am absolutely in love with working with children and know without a doubt this is what I am supposed to be doing and that God has made this path for me. When I was a child I wanted to be famous. I wanted to inspire others, spread joy, and change the world. God knew all of this. He made me a teacher to be famous. He gave me a testimony to inspire others. He had me live in many different places and meet many different people to spread joy. Through all of that, He has given me confidence, that with Him, I will be able to change the world. Much love and God Bless, -X
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July 2019
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