For those who do not know, there's this Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker movie called Failure to Launch. It also had Bradley Cooper pre American Sniper and Zooey Deschanel before her New Girl days. It's a good movie! Anywho, it is called Failure to Launch because Matthew's character experiences a hardship in his life that causes him to still be living at home at the age of 30 something. I may not be in my 30's, but I too have experienced failure to launch.
When I was compared to this movie it kind of put things into perspective for me. At first I hated the comparison, thinking it was an insult and I took it literal thinking I shouldn't be living at home anymore. Then I realize I'm 23 and that's not really the focus on this statement. Failure to launch simply means struggling to transition into the next stage of development. Although I still find this a bit embarrassing, it makes perfect sense considering my journey through life. Moving 10+ times growing up and dealing with depression and anxiety will shake you up! A lot! But I'm picking up speed. I look at this "launch" as a roller coaster. Not the typical scenario of the ups and downs of life, but the beginning of the ride. The roller coaster slowly makes its way up the giant, steep, climb and then sits at the top a brief second as you're anticipating the rush that comes next. Well lately I've been making my way up the climb! I've been climbing and climbing and I've gotten a little bit high off the anticipation of what follows. So currently, I'm at that moment of waiting for the drop. The drop is not a bad thing in this story. Is excitement. It's what you got on the ride for! You took your time up that steep hill to witness a rush that takes your breath away. You anxiously awaited for what's to come next...but the roller coaster stopped at the top of the hill...and you're stuck. Waiting. Losing patience because you waited so long in line just to get on the roller coaster in the first place! That's me right now. And I've realize that's what I've been searching for lately. That's what I feel is missing. I'm looking for that rush. The reward of the climb. Or at least to continue climbing. Something more to anticipate, work towards, instead of being stuck at the top with no place else to go except wait until the ride is fixed. I think I've waited long enough. Am I fixed yet? Can I continue my ride? Is there anything else I can do to at least help the mechanic fix the ride? Does the mechanic even know I'm stuck up here? Can he hear my cries? I know he's busy working. Worrying won't get me down any faster and complaining won't help the mechanic do his job. So here I am at the top of this roller coaster waiting, praying, and thanking that mechanic for helping me. Partially because that's all I can do in this moment, and partially because he stopped the ride at the best part, the part with the gorgeous view. Much love and God bless, -X
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AuthorVerse of the DayArchives
July 2019
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