Happy Thankful Thursday everyone! I chose to do my thankful post on thursday this week because it just so happens four years ago today was my high school graduation. Reflecting on that day reminds me of the place I used to be and how far God has brought me since then. If you follow me on instagram or Facebook you have seen a few of my reflective posts this week already. However, my week never feels complete until I post a blog sharing and thanking God with all of you. As most of you know, I was very depressed in high school. When graduation came around I was terrified because I had no idea what would become of my life outside high school. I never planned a single thing for after graduation because I honestly thought I would've been dead before I made it that far. So once I graduated, I planned on that summer being my last. I always said I could never do that to my family, but my mental state had gotten to the point where my thoughts were no longer my own. Once I made that decision it was just a few weeks later that God intervened, and I am forever thankful He did. So even though my reflection today is about the biggest struggle I ever faced, I am thankful for that too. I am thankful for every struggle that comes my way, even if I don't feel very thankful while I'm facing it. God saw my struggle the entire time. He knew when the perfect time to intervene was. If He had stepped in sooner, would I have realized that blessing? Would I have known the battles He prevented from happening? I don't think so. I may not have even realized the severity of it. I know without a doubt He used that situation for my benefit because without those few years of trial, without me struggling from depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts, I probably wouldn't have turned to God. I probably wouldn't have the faith that I have today. And I probably wouldn't be a member of the church. I wouldn't have a clue. God creates each of us with a purpose and a plan for every part of our lives. He knows sometimes you'll fail and He planned for those times as well. He loves each and every one of us unconditionally! So I pray for all of those who may feel similar to this or struggle like I did (and sometimes still do) that you know there is so much to look forward to in life. Please do not feel hopeless today, or anyday. Feeling hopeless and worthless is the biggest lie that the opposition tells you. Do not let satan drag you down and rob you of your full potential. Continue to have hope, continue to fight through hard times, and continue to live knowing there are amazing times to be had in your future. This is my Thankful Thursday. Where God has brought me from, the struggle He allowed me to endure, the mistake that He saved me from in His perfect timing, and how He gave me this wonderful testimony to share. I hope He will allow my past to save someone from facing the same things I did. So in closing, just know your struggle, whatever it may be, does not make you any less than anyone else. Your struggle does not define you or determine your path in life. It took me a long time to realize that. Once I did, there was a whole other life to be had. So please, know these things today. Because you are worth it. <3 Much love and God bless, -X
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Happy Thursday everyone! I told you I would make it in time to post today! :) Today, I am thankful for the use of social media! Yes, lots of drama can come attached with social media. However, it is my opinion that it is all in how you use it. With a few clicks of a button I have access to all my friends and family in my time of need. Allow me to explain using a testimony from last week. For those of you who don't follow me on Facebook, or did not see my posts from last week, I was failing my new math class within the first week. No matter what I did I was not passing the quiz and on homework alone I spent 15 hours! I never had so many breakdowns in one week than I did last week. In fact, I could feel the stress bringing my depression back to the surface and it starting to warp my thought process. I knew instantly that this was the opposition trying to shake me. So, I asked on Facebook for everyone to keep me in their prayers and went to bed. The next morning I took my quiz again and received a D, which was an improvement, but still not what I needed. Later, when my family got home from church, my older sister looked it over with me, I took it again, and got a B-! Then, took the exam and received a 100%!!!! Insane!!! I literally went from failing to an A within 24 hours! There is no doubt in my mind that God made that possible! There was no way that I did that on my own. The power of prayer is amazing! So, that is why I am thankful for social media. The fact that I have access to all my loved ones with a few clicks is awesome, but that I can use it as an instant prayer chain as well, I am just so thankful. I truly thank God for the love and support of my friends, family, and brothers and sisters in Christ each and everyday! There is just so much to be thankful for! What is something you are thankful for today? Share in a comment! Much love and God bless! -X It's Tuesday again and with Tuesday comes the latest Tunes that I am listening to! I know I have not posted since last Tuesday but I promise I will post a Wonderful Wednesday or Thankful Thursday this week as well! Without further or due, here are this weeks tunes! 1. Nick Fradiani-Beautiful Life In honor of Nick winning American Idol last week (YES!!!) here is him performing his amazing new single! Make sure to look up the full song and buy it on itunes! It's such an awesome anthem song, and he is just soo good looking! (& Italian!). Favorite lyrics: This could be the last night of our lives Gonna chase down our every desire We blaze the night With all we've been waiting for All this time Reaches such great heights Gives us just one perfect night To say oh what a beautiful life 2. Bad Blood-Taylor Swift I can't pass up Tuesday Tunes without sharing my girls new music video for Bad Blood!! It's like Taylor and all her friends thrown into an Avengers movie! If only Chris Evans was there as Captain America, I'm not sure how it could get any better than that! Plus, it probably my favorite angry betrayal song of all time (because a girls gotta have a few, just sayin') Favorite Lyrics: Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you And time can heal but this won't, so if you're coming my way, just don't ... Band-aids don't fix bullet holes, You say sorry just for show, If you live like that, you live with ghosts. Note: I prefer the original track without the rap, so if you are turned off by the rapping, make sure to look up the original song :) There it is! Hope you enjoy my tunes of the week! Feel free to share your favorite songs at the moment!
Much love and God bless, -X Welcome to another addition of Tuesday Tunes! Here is what I'm listening to this week! 1. It is Well by Phil Wickham This song gives me goosies every single time! Favorite lyrics: "Was nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!" 2. Fight Song by Rachel Platten I wish this song existed 3 years ago or so. It is so empowering and I feel like I can take on the world everytime I hear it! Favorite lyrics: "My power's turned on Starting right now I'll be strong I'll play my fight song And I don't really care if nobody else believes Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me” That's it for this week! Hope you enjoy these songs as much as I do!
Much love & God bless, -X
I finally made it! I'm officially 22 years old and can sing Taylor Swift's song with meaning! I can wake up and say, "you know what I AM feeling 22 today! I actually am happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time!" Which is all I ever really wanted to do since the song came out 3 years ago. I waited for this day all that time and it finally arrived! Boy, did the opposition take that to his advantage. Nothing terrible happened yesterday, however, my depression and the ever joyous "snowball effect" of minor flukes and incidences were just waiting to bring me down. I'll be honest, it succeed, I was brought down. In fact, I cried about 3 times throughout the entire day (it's my party and I'll cry if I want to!).
That's the thing with depression, at least for me, sometimes the lights go out at the most inconvenient times. Sometimes my brain has an uncontrollable light switch. Some days the lights are on, I'm great and I'm good to go! Others days the lights are off and there's not much I can do about it except push through and try to distract myself from the dark. Sometimes the lights flicker on and off throughout the day! The key is to not let those dark days consume me. The lights were off yesterday. It put a damper on my day. My birthday. And I was bummed. Ok. It's ok. That's a big thing I've learned these past few years. Living with depression, I have to learn how to roll with the punches, because I'm going to face a lot of them. More than most because I can't always control how I'm going to feel. BUT I can control how I react. I can let the darkness consume me and mope and not even try to have a good day, or, I can smile through it and see the good around me and try to enjoy the rest of my day. The opposition tried to ruin a great day, steal my spirit, and knock me down. But today is a new day, the lights are on, and he does not get to win. This past year there was many, many ups and downs in my life. But I have to say, year 21 has had to be my best year yet! I learned to love myself more, own who I am, and discovered a huge passion of mine. I learned that the best people I am ever going to have in my life are my family and they are all I'll ever need. I learned when it's good take control and when I need to let go and give God control... and that the difference between the two is very important! And I learned that the only approval I need is God's, what everyone else believes is not important. God has helped me to grow leaps and bounds while I was 21 and it's safe to say I am definitely not the same person I was this time last year. I know God has a perfect plan laid out for me. I can't wait to see what 22 holds. <3 Here's to being 22! Much love and God bless, -X
Hello beautiful people! We've made it to another Wonderful Wednesday! Get ready to share something wonderful God has done in your life and share your testimony today! Spread the wonderful news!
My Wonderful Wednesday post is about the Wonderful time I got to spend with my sisters and nieces over the weekend. The majority if not all of my favorite moments in life are spent with my family. We played random games outside and watched movies and it was such a wonderful day. Simple days like those is what I live for. It's moments like those that lift my spirits so much and make memories that will last forever. Not to mention it was a fun reminder that summer is coming, which got us all really pumped! Thank you God for nice weather, laughter, and family fun! So what is something you can share that reminds you how wonderful God is? Share in a comment! Much love and God bless, -X
Happy Tuesday everyone! I have decided that every Tuesday will now be dubbed "Tuesday Tunes" on this blog. Which means, every Tuesday I will post my current favorites that I have been listening to. Kind of like my songs of the week.
I'll probably post 2 on a normal week. However, considering this week is also my birthday I will start it off with three! 1. 22- Taylor Swift (because I'll be 22 obviously :p) Favorite lyrics: "We're happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way its miserable and magical"
2.
Hold Us Together- Matt Maher This song I actually just discovered today, as I was writing this and looking for a completely different song. It is such a beautiful song and it feels like my family's life anthem. Favorite lyrics: "And love will hold us together Make us a shelter to weather the storm And I'll be my brother's keeper So the whole world would know that we're not alone"
3.
Love Me Like You Mean It- Kelsea Ballerini I just discovered Kelsea and this song a few days ago and I love her!! You can pre-order her album "The first time" now! Favorite lyrics: "'Cause I don't have time to waste on the boys That are playing the game And leaving the girls crying out in the rain So tell me, baby Are you just crazy or crazy over me"
Let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions for other songs! :)
Much love and God bless! -X |
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July 2019
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