Well, I am officially 23! Another year of my life has come and gone and I couldn’t be happier. I love getting older. Ever since I was a little girl all I ever wanted was to be old and wise. The older you get, the smarter you are. The smarter you are, the more people take you seriously. When you’re older your life is put together, you find stability, and you can create a family of your own. Becoming 23 years old is one step closer to obtaining those dreams. Although, right now they still seem light years away.
Right now I’m still taking it day by day. Saturday my family and I celebrated my birthday a day early since it fell on Mother’s Day Sunday. Last year’s birthday post I mentioned how the opposition tried to ruin my day. I’m sad to say, this year he crashed my party again. I didn’t handle it as well as I did last year. I was sleep deprived and vulnerable, and he knew that it was the perfect time for him to give me my birthday present. It really was the perfect day though. My family made me all my favorites. The day was full of love and laughter. God even answered my prayer for the rain to hold off so we can spend the day outside. But I was weak and didn’t have the strength to fight him off. I cried. All day long. I was able to fight it long enough for dinner and cake. But it was exhausting fighting off what my brain was telling me to feel. Which was complete and utter misery. I knew my brain was feeding me lies. It was obvious what was happening, that satan was trying to disturb my peace, steal my joy, and use my depression to ruin my day. My birthday. Again. How frustrating it is to know everything you feel is a lie but you can’t make it stop. It’s like driving straight towards a cliff but your breaks are cut and you can’t even jump out because your seat belt is jammed. All you can do is brace yourself for the crash and pray to God that it ends quickly. That was my birthday. An amazing, blessed, love filled, car crash. And that’s ok. It’s done and over. I got through it. I didn’t cave. I moved on. Did the opposition ruin my birthday? Perhaps. But I didn’t fall for his lies. I didn’t listen to his taunts. I stayed strong and I awoke to a new day. A birthday is only one day. It’s ok if I wasn’t able to enjoy the day. He tainted one day. One day out of 365. And technically I was still 22 on Saturday. Today, Sunday, May 8, 2016 I turned 23 years old. Today was a good day. So score 1/1 for me! God has an amazing year planned for me. Having a bad day does not mean a bad life. Even multiple bad days doesn’t equal a bad life. When those days happen, sometimes all you can do is take it one hour, one minute, or even one second at a time until it passes. Then you wake up to a new day and do all you can to make it a better one. That’s what I did today. And that’s what I’ll do tomorrow. Because each new day that I face, whichever type of day it may be, puts me one day closer… To being older and wiser. Much love and God bless, -X
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July 2019
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